Old Friends And Comrades
by hydref05
Summary: Jack needs the Doctor's help, but first they have some unfinished business.
1. Old Friends & Comrades

Remembering (Part 1) - Old Friends and Comrades

**Synopsis**: Jack needs the Doctor's help, but first they have some unfinished business.  
**Characters**: The Doctor (ten) and Jack  
**Episode/Spoilers**: Anything up to new series 2, Doomsday and vague spoilers for series 3 and Torchwood, Small Worlds.  
**Rating**: PG

* * *

"You're going where?" Gwen asked. 

"Lancashire," Jack replied as he locked his desk drawers.

"Why?"

"Something I've been working on."

"And you can't tell me what?"

"Not 'til I get back. Don't want to look a complete idiot if I'm wrong and it turns out to be nothing do I?" Jack gave her his best smile, the one that lit up his face, the one that had got him out of more sticky situations than he dared remember.

Gwen watched her boss and, even as an argument formed on her lips, she knew he had her, knew she was going to cover for him. This was the fourth time he'd done this in the last few months. He'd stroll up to her desk, ask her to cover for him (which of course she always did) and then disappear for a couple of days. The last three times he'd come back in a foul mood, so finger's crossed this time he'd find whatever it was he was searching for.

"So you'll cover for me?" Jack asked.

"Don't I always?"

"You do, you know I'd be lost without you."

"Try not to get into any trouble," Gwen cautioned as Jack left the Hub.

After a five and a half hour journey, that involved changing trains at Bristol and Preston, Jack finally arrived at his destination, a small railway station on the Lancashire coast. He checked, found the TARDIS was still in the town and followed the directions the device, a piece of alien tech he'd borrowed from Torchwood, gave him.

Ten minutes later, he was on a busy promenade, just along from a pier, and sure enough there was the familiar blue box. He bought a portion of chips and a drink of tea in a polystyrene cup and settled down in a shelter to wait.

After three hours, the day trippers had mostly gone, the donkeys had left the beach and the sun was starting to set over the Irish Sea, but there was still no sign of the Doctor. Jack didn't care, he'd waited so long for this moment that a few more hours were nothing.

For the last four years, since the Doctor had abandoned him, he'd checked everywhere he went for that blue box. Then, six months ago, Torchwood had come into possession of a device that he'd discovered could scan time and space for anything he wanted. There was only one thing he wanted.

The TARDIS has shown up four times since then. The first three - twice in London and once in Aberdeen - Jack had arrived too late, but this time, here it was. And wherever the TARDIS was, the Doctor wouldn't be far away.

The Doctor bought a portion of chips, peas and gravy from the same shop Jack had used. He'd seen Jack leave the chip shop three hours earlier and he wasn't surprised to see him still sitting on a bench in a shelter, trying to look inconspicuous and failing miserably.

It had been two years since he'd last seen him, he wondered how long it had been for Jack. How long had it taken him to get back here? He ate his food, threw the tray in a bin and walked along the promenade to where Jack was waiting.

"Are you going to sit there all night?" the Doctor asked. "'Cos it looks like rain to me and the wind's getting up a bit."

Jack wondered why the stranger cared. "I'm waiting for a ... friend." He almost laughed at his own word. Friend? Some friend.

The Doctor heard the tone in Jack's voice change when he said 'friend', but he chose to ignore it. "Alright. But, just in case he doesn't turn up, I'll leave the door ajar."

"What?" Jack asked.

"The door," the Doctor said as he started to walk away, "I'll leave it open."

Jack watched as the man walked up to the TARDIS and let himself in. _What the hell?_ he wondered. _Doctor?_ He followed at a jog, but stopped quickly when he reached the TARDIS. He'd been waiting for this moment for four years, had been planning what he'd say and what he'd do when he met the Doctor again. But he hadn't expected the Doctor to have changed. _How the hell had he changed?_ he wondered.

"You're letting the heat out," a voice called from inside the blue box.

Jack steeled himself, took a deep breath and walked through the open door. "Doctor?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"I've changed a little, but it's still me." The Doctor stopped checking the console controls and turned his attention to Jack. "Go on then. Say what you've got to say."

Jack expression hardened as he remembered his time on a Game Station once the TARDIS had left, and the struggle for two years to find a way of leaving the shattered planet. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to get off that satellite? How long it took me to get back to Earth, to this time? You left me there!"

"I didn't know you were alive, at least not at first, I thought everyone had died."

"And you didn't think to check?" Jack asked angrily.

"I wasn't..."

"I was on that God forsaken hole with dead bodies everywhere. The planet was in chaos. Where the hell were you? We needed you, Doctor, and you just got back in your ship and left us to it." Jack walked across the console room, stopping when he was toe to toe with the Doctor. "Got nothing to say? Wasn't I as good as Rose? Didn't I deserve saving?"

"Jack..."

"Forget it," Jack interrupted. "I don't know why I came." He turned away.

"Yes you do," the Doctor said.

Something in the Doctor's voice, the calmness maybe, finally made Jack snap. He turned back and swung a punch at the Doctor, getting him firmly on the cheek. The Doctor's head snapped sideways, but he stood his ground. Jack took another swing at him, and then another. The Doctor fell back against the console, but he didn't fight back. Jack lunged for him, pulled him up and held him by the lapel of his suit jacket. He stood staring at his one time friend, the man he'd trusted with his life. But the anger was fading and he let him go.

The Doctor slumped back against the console and winced a little. "Feel better?"

"Oh yeah, I'm just great." Jack sat on one of the chairs and studied the Doctor. "You could at least have had the decency to fight back."

"That usually ends up with me getting more hurt," the Doctor replied.

"That wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing."

"Maybe not for you." The Doctor stood back up and straightened his shirt and jacket.

Ten minutes later, they were sitting in the TARDIS kitchen with mugs of tea, neither speaking, the silence tense and uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry," Jack offered. "I shouldn't have hit you."

The Doctor shrugged, "You're not the first and I doubt you'll be the last." He gingerly touched his cheek and eye. "You do have a mean right hook though."

"You left me there."

"I know."

"I don't even... I ..." Jack struggled to get his thoughts in order. "I was dead, I know I was. But then I was alive and... just as I got to the TARDIS, you left."

The Doctor frowned and scratched the back of his head. He didn't approve of resurrecting the dead, it was of the few Time Lord laws he actually agreed with. Not that he didn't see the hypocrisy of that. How could a man who regenerated to cheat death, complain about someone being brought back? But in his mind it was different. The dead should stay dead, history should not be tampered with in that way. Except, and here was the flaw in his argument, Jack had only been dead for a minute or so and he was only dead because he'd followed him, because he'd trusted him.

"You still with me?" Jack asked, a small note of humour in his voice.

"I am sorry. If I could have stayed and helped I would have. But I couldn't."

"Why?"

"Rose had opened the TARDIS, looked into her heart and the TARDIS took her back to the station."

"Yeah?" Jack smiled. "She has spunk that one."

"She was dying," the Doctor told him and Jack's smile faded. "She had the energy of the time vortex running through her. I took it from her and it killed me instead."

Jack had heard rumours about the Time Lords' powers. "You regenerated? I thought that was a myth. Mind you I always thought the Time Lords were a myth as well. So you absorbed the energy and died? But then you regenerated and you were okay?"

The Doctor knew where this was heading, and his cheek and ribs ached enough already. "I didn't know what she'd done, that she'd bought you back..."

"Rose did that?"

"Yes. But I didn't know until we were back in flight. By then it was too late. The regeneration had started and I couldn't control it. You're not the only one who suffered," he added a little sharply.

"Oh yeah, getting a new body and choosing a new wardrobe, that's on a par with being stuck thousands of years out of time on a space station crewed by the dead."

"The regeneration went wrong. When I say I couldn't control it, I mean me. I was out of control. I knew what needed to be done, deep in here," he touched his head. "But I ... I was out of control," he repeated. "I tried to crash the TARDIS, almost did. Tried to make her jump out of the vortex. Luckily she fought me."

Jack supposed that was a good explanation, if it were true. And from the look in the Doctor's eyes it was true. "Does it hurt?"

"My face or my ribs?"

"Regenerating?"

"Yes. But that wasn't the worst. I spent two days being looked after by Rose's mum and if you'd ever met Jackie... " he tried to joke it off. This last regeneration had been far worse than any other. He'd had no idea where or who he was. Had felt nothing except fear and pain. Of course mentioning Rose and Jackie wasn't a good way to joke anything off these days.

Later, Jack had told the Doctor how he'd eventually managed to get back to Earth in Rose's time. They'd found a bottle a whiskey and made themselves comfortable in the sitting room, the Doctor lying across an old sofa and Jack sprawled out in a recliner that had seen better days, but was extremely comfortable.

"Have you ever considered decorating?" Jack asked, "Getting new furniture maybe?"

The Doctor looked around. "You don't like the decor?"

"It's a little ... grungy, I think that's the word."

"It's what she chose, the TARDIS, it's what she chose last time she redecorated."

"Your ship redecorates itself and you let her choose the decor?"

The last time the ship had been redecorated it had been because she was damaged, badly damaged, in the war and in saving him. At the time he hadn't cared what the inside looked like and anyway, he thought he owed it to her to let her choose for herself. The new look had suited both their moods at the time, and now he just liked it. He gave Jack a shorter answer though. "Yep."

"Fair enough," Jack replied. "So you going to tell me where Rose is? The records show that her and her mom died when the Cybermen came, but I don't believe that."

"Officially they died," the Doctor agreed. "Actually they went with her dad and Mickey through the void, to the parallel universe."

Jack was shocked. "And you just let her go?"

"You think I had a choice?" the Doctor asked angrily.

"I don't know." Jack sighed and shook his head, because he did know. "No, I guess you mustn't have."

"Was the only way to keep her alive."

"There's no mention of you being at Torchwood Tower that day. You wiped the record didn't you?"

"Yes. The last thing I need is Torchwood anywhere near me." He opened his eyes and looked across at Jack. "No, tell me you're not ... you're working for Torchwood aren't you?"

"Sure am," Jack replied brightly.

"Wonderful," the Doctor sighed.

"They're different now."

"Yeah? Turned over a new leaf have they? No more, 'if it's alien it's ours'?"

"We're looking for alien tech, sure, things that fall to Earth. We don't steal it and we don't shoot down defenseless ships that are just passing by, not anymore."

"Is that the company line?"

"It's the truth."

"And do they know who you are? A renegade Time Agent from the 51st century? Do they know you know me?"

"God, are you kidding! Can you imagine?" Jack laughed. "It's best not to mention knowing you."

"Good."

"You know it's thanks to you that Torchwood was founded?"

"So I've been told. I don't know why though."

"You don't know Torchwood's history? Okay, the potted version. Queen Victoria visited Scotland in 1879, she was going to Balmoral and stopped off at Torchwood House. While she was there she was attacked by a mythical beast. She also met two strangers. A man, who seemed to randomly change his voice from Scottish to English, who called himself Dr James McCrimmon and a, and I'm quoting here, half naked wild child called Rose. Sound familiar?"

The Doctor had sat up, was staring at Jack with a shocked expression. "You're joking. Torchwood was set up because of what happened with the werewolf?"

"Victoria founded it to investigate occurrences like the one she'd just experienced. She made a provision when she set it up, Torchwood's biggest enemy was to be the Doctor."

The Doctor was stunned. "If Rose and I hadn't gone there, Torchwood would never have existed?" he asked. "The void ship would have stayed in the void and the cybermen would have had no way of coming through."

"Or, looked at another way, Queen Victoria would have been bitten by the werewolf and the Empire of the Wolf would have begun, Earth's history would have changed completely."

"Maybe."

"And the cybermen and Daleks would have still found a way through the void, with or without Torchwood."

The Doctor nodded, he wanted to believe that, but he knew it wasn't that simple, time didn't work that way. "Why work for them though? In fact, why come to 21st century Earth?"

"You can talk!" Jack laughed. "I knew you'd turn up here." His expression was suddenly serious. "I was looking for you."

"I'd be flattered if I didn't know that you were looking for me to hit me." The Doctor poured himself another glass of whiskey. "You want some more?"

"Yeah, this is good stuff. Where's it from?"

"Flabia III."

"They have the best parties," Jack enthused. "I went to wedding there once. Lasted three weeks, that's three of their weeks, which would be almost five weeks on Earth. If I ever get married I'm going there." He looked at the Doctor, "Unless someone's destroyed all their distilleries and replaced them with banana groves, that is."

The Doctor grinned, "I missed you."

"Really? Well maybe if you hadn't left me behind on the Game Station..." this time Jack was smiling though. "So what did you miss? My good looks? My cute little butt? My sparkling personality?"

"Never noticed your butt to be honest."

"Yeah, right," Jack laughed. "Well, if you ever want a closer look, my room's right along the hall from yours."

"Not anymore it's not. The TARDIS likes to move things around when she's bored. Anyway, who said you were staying?"

"Yeah, 'bout the reason I was looking for you. I need your help."

"Not 'cos you missed me then?"

"From the bruise that's forming quite nicely around your left eye, I'd say I didn't miss you."

"You have strange way of asking for help."

"Seriously, I need you."

"It isn't a good idea."

"You don't know what I want."

"You want to find out what happened in those missing years."

"Yeah. I have to know."

"What if it's something too painful to remember? There could have been a good reason for wiping them from your memory?"

"Nothing could be that painful."

The Doctor's eyes were suddenly dark. "I wouldn't count on that."

Jack studied the Doctor. "Would you want someone to come along and, without asking your permission, just erase all memories of the time war?"

"Yes."

"No you wouldn't. It's a violation. Whatever happened, I have the right to know and the right to decide whether I want to remember."

"We can't decide what we do and don't remember," the Doctor argued. "How do you know that you didn't request the memory wipe?"

"I wouldn't."

"How do you know?"

"I don't," Jack conceded. "But this is driving me nuts. I have to find out what happened. Will you help me?"

"I'll think about it." The Doctor lay quietly on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. He could feel Jack watching him. "It's a really bad idea."

"What else would you be doing?" Jack asked.

"I have plenty things I could be doing," the Doctor replied. Jack could sense the Doctor was giving in though, knew him well enough to know that he'd relish the challenge and the danger involved. He was proved right when the Doctor said, "Yeah alright, why not. Just as long as you know you can't change anything."

Jack was beaming. "I know, I promise I won't interfere with anything. Thank you."

"Don't get carried away, we mightn't be able to find anything."

"Sure we will." Jack refused to have his mood dampened. He picked up the now empty whiskey bottle. "Do we have anymore of this?"

"We?"

"''Cos there's a Bargain Booze round the corner, I can nip out and get some Earth whiskey."

"There's a bottle in the cabinet over there." The Doctor pointed across the room.

"You think it's weird that every planet seems to make it's own whiskey, wine and beer?" Jack asked as he rummaged through the cabinet. "Do you ever tidy out these cupboards? Ah, got it." He returned to the recliner, opened the bottle and poured some for himself and the Doctor. "Where's this one from?"

"Scotland," the Doctor replied. "It says it on the bottle."

"So it does."

"How'd you find me?" the Doctor asked.

"Ahh." Jack grinned. He leaned over the side of chair, retrieved his jacket and pulled a small metal device out of the pocket. "This."

The Doctor put his glasses on and studied the machine. "Where'd you get this?"

"Torchwood had it. No one there could figure it out, took me while but I got it in the end. Tell you something weird though. Since being in the TARDIS, I've been able to read alien languages, which comes in very helpful at times, but I couldn't read the writing on that."

"Yet you managed to use it."

"Sure. I was borrowing alien tech long time before I met you, you just made it easier. I've gotten rusty, it took a few weeks to decipher it. So what's with that?"

"The TARDIS doesn't translate my language."

"It's Time Lord tech?"

The Doctor nodded. "It scans time for, well for anything you want really."

"Is it yours?"

"No, never had one of these."

"It was found in a lake in Cumbria. So, that means other Time Lords have been on Earth."

"Yeah," the Doctor agreed. He put his glasses back in his pocket and handed the device back to Jack.

"You don't want to keep it?"

"No."

"Good, less paperwork." Jack placed the device on the coffee table. "I did find something strange when I was looking for you. I thought I'd found you in the 22nd century, but when I checked more thoroughly, turned out to be a female and I don't think she's a Time Lord, but she has a very similar physiology to you, she certainly isn't Human."

The Doctor stared at Jack. "Someone from my planet?"

"I guess."

"On Earth?"

"Yeah," Jack smiled. "See you're not the only one."

"I didn't dare think... I mean, I'd hoped but I didn't want to believe..." the Doctor jumped to his feet and laughed. "She survived."

"You know her?" Jack asked in surprise.

"Oh, I should say I know her. You don't how many times over the last few years I've thought about going to check on her. Ha! She made it. She's alive!"

Jack watched the Doctor as he practically bounced around the room. "Who is she?"

"Susan," the Doctor beamed but then his smile faded a little. "I thought, when the Time Lords were wiped from the timeline that she might have gone as well."

"But she's not a Time Lord," Jack pointed out.

"Part of her family were Time Lords. When they ... ceased to exist, it was possible that she would have as well. You were a Time Agent, you know about temporal mechanics."

"That would have been a possibility, a distinct possibility," Jack agreed. "Why didn't you just go and check?"

"Because sometimes hope is better than truth. Sometimes it's just better not to know. Something you might discover if we go on this quest of yours."

"Who is she?" Jack asked again.

"My granddaughter."

Jack gaped at the Doctor. "You're a grandfather? Hell, I didn't know that," he laughed.

"I'm a little older than I look," the Doctor reminded him.

"You're also a little older than you told me and Rose. This device your people created is pretty clever. You're eleven hundred and forty five."

"I am? Well you stop counting once you hit four figures. What year did you find Susan?"

"It's in the device's memory, early 22nd century. You going to go and see her?"

The Doctor sat down, picked the device up and then put it back down again. "No."

"Why?"

"Maybe. I don't know. It's been a long time and I've changed a lot. She isn't going to recognise me."

"Sounds like you're looking for excuses. Don't get mad at me."

"Don't give me a reason to."

"You don't think she has a right to know what happened to her home."

"Earth's her home."

"You know what I mean. Don't you think she should know?"

The Doctor sat back down and ran a hand through his hair. "Yes of course she should. I just don't ... how do you tell someone their home planet's gone?" _More to the point_, he thought, _how do you tell someone that you destroyed their home planet, their family, their history and heritage?_

"I don't know," Jack replied. "But I think you should find a way."

The following morning, a rather hung over Jack found the Doctor in the kitchen, eating peanut butter and jam on toast and drinking a mug of tea.

"Morning," the Doctor said chirpily. "Oo, you don't look well. Hang on I've got something for that." He took a sachet out of one of the cupboards and added warm water to it. "Drink it in one go."

"Will it make me puke?"

"No. Well, maybe, but you'll feel much better afterwards. Trust me, I'm..."

"A doctor?" Jack asked.

"I was going to say eleven hundred and forty five and I've had my share of hangovers. Just drink it, stop being so Human."

Jack took a hesitant sip of the orange coloured drink. "Tastes of fish," he complained and then drank the rest in one go. "What the hell was in that?"

"Erm, best you don't know. But you're starting to feel better."

"No."

"No? Oh. Give it a while. Actually it might not work on Humans. Try a coffee instead."

"So you made me drink fish for nothing?" Jack made himself a coffee and sat down across from the Doctor. "Have you decided?"

"About what?"

"Susan?"

"I'm going to go and see her. Might be really bad idea, but if I don't do it now, I probably never will. Just have to choose when"

End Of Part One

Part Two, The Lasts...


	2. The Lasts

Remembering (Part 2) - The Lasts

**Synopsis**: It's time that Susan learned the fate of her home planet.  
**Characters**: The Doctor (Ten), Susan, little bit of Jack.  
**Episode/Spoilers**: Anything up to new series 2, Doomsday  
**Rating**: PG some angst

* * *

"We're here then," Jack said, in an attempt to break the silence that had filled the console room since they materialised in an old builders yard five minutes earlier. 

"We are."

"Yet you're still standing at the controls, making no move to leave." When he got no response, Jack asked, "Nervous?"

"Yes," the Doctor agreed.

"You want me to come with you?"

"Thanks, but I'm not sure you flirting with my granddaughter is going to help."

"I wouldn't flirt."

The Doctor gave Jack an vaguely amused look. "You flirted with that 83 years old poppy seller we met yesterday."

"The man fought in a war, he was collecting for charity and I was being friendly."

"For you that's flirting." The Doctor pulled on his coat and walked to the door. He turned back to Jack. "You're going to be careful aren't you? Last time I left you alone in the TARDIS you almost destroyed Cardiff."

"That wasn't my fault. But yes I'll be careful. I'm going to perform a few scans that's all."

"Just try not to break anything or blow anything up."

Jack grinned. "I'll try my best. Now go and find your granddaughter."

Susan got off the bus and hurried home through the rain. As she approached her mansion block, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise, there was something here, something different. She remembered the feeling from long ago, knew what it meant. The street was full of people rushing home from work, she watched them all, looking for the old man, but she couldn't see him. Then her eyes settled on a young man in a long brown overcoat, standing near the entrance to the building.

The Doctor stood with his hands in his pockets, oblivious to the rain that had soaked his hair and was slowly seeping through his overcoat and his suit. He'd been there for the last hour, watching people pass by, waiting for her. As soon as the TARDIS had materialised, he'd felt her. Suddenly there was one small sound in the silence that had filled his mind since the war.

Now she was here and he wasn't sure what to do. Had he been right to come? What purpose would telling her serve? She was staring at him now and he was struck by how much she looked like her parents. Memories awakened, old memories that had been pushed to the far corners of his mind. Memories of his son, of his home, the memory of the pain he'd felt when he'd left her here, hundreds of years ago for him, thirteen for her.

Susan stood in the small garden, scared to approach him. Was it him? Was it another Time Lord? She couldn't believe this man could be her grandfather, he was so young. He was watching her, he looked so nervous that in other circumstances she might have laughed.

He broke the silence, "Hello."

"It's you isn't it?" she asked.

He nodded. "I didn't know if you'd recognise me, I've changed a bit since you last saw me."

"Where have you been?"

The Doctor stifled a laugh. Where had he been? What to say to that? "Travelling."

"Travelling?" Susan asked. "You left me here. I haven't seen you for 13 years, but it's okay because you've been travelling."

"When I saw there was another Gallifreyan... it had to be you, I had to come and see that you were alright. I'll go."

She stood for a few seconds, watching him start to walk away, before she found her voice. "Wait!"

When he stopped and turned, she crossed the garden and stood in front of him, raising her hand to touch his face, but pulling it quickly away. She studied this new face, the messy hair, the eyes that had seen far too much, that seemed out of place in such a young face.

"I can feel you, in here," she touched her head. "I haven't had that sort of connection with anyone since you left, I'd almost forgotten it, but as soon as I got here, I could feel you."

The Doctor smiled for the first time. "And me you."

His smile made her relax, made her want to know what had happened to keep him away and to bring him back. "Come inside out of the rain, we can talk."

She led him through the entrance to the building, he followed her into the lift and up to her flat. After she let them in, she told him to make himself at home while she got changed. She offered him a towel to dry his hair, a drink of tea, something to eat. She knew she was talking too much, but suddenly she was nervous.

While Susan changed her clothes, the Doctor looked around the living room. He studied the paintings, the ornaments, the books and lastly the photographs of people enjoying their lives. He'd often wondered, in the years since he'd left her, whether he'd done the right thing. Should he have taken her from her home and brought her here? Was he right to have left her? Now, as he looked around the room at the snapshots of her life, he knew he'd been right. What kind of a life would she have had on Gallifrey or travelling with him?

He was looking at the photos on the coffee table when Susan returned with two steaming mugs of tea. "Yours?" he asked, indicating a picture of two children playing on a beach.

"My niece and nephew, Amy and Callum."

"Do you have children?" He asked. When she shook her head he studied her for a second. "Soon though," he said and placed the photo back on the table. "Susan..."

When he didn't continue, she prompted, "Grandfather," and then she smiled. "Do you know how strange that sounds. Look at you, you don't look much older than 30. You can't be long into your second life."

"Tenth," he replied. "I've regenerated nine times since I saw you last."

"Nine times." Susan was shocked. Time Lords lived over 300 years. "You need to be careful. You've only got three left and I don't imagine the council would grant you another set," she teased.

He was suddenly very serious. "The Council's gone."

"Gone? All of them?" She asked and he nodded. "How?"

"There was a war," he began, "between the Time Lords and the Daleks. Well, there'd already been several wars between us, but this one was different."

When the silence dragged on, Susan asked, "In what way?"

"No one won. Both sides lost, they both lost everything."

"I don't understand, what do you mean 'everything'?"

"Everything. The Dalek fleet was destroyed, but it took Gallifrey and the Time Lords with it. They're all gone. The Time Lords, everyone on Gallifrey, the planet. There's only us. The last Time Lord and the last Gallifreyan."

Susan stared at him, trying to take in what he was telling her. Her home planet was gone. She didn't know how to feel about that. She could never have gone back, she knew that, she really did. But a small part of her had always held the hope that he'd come back one day and take her home for a visit.

"How did you survive?"

He shook his head, because in truth he had no idea. "The TARDIS fell through time, landed in the early 20th century in London. I must have been badly hurt because when I came to I'd regenerated." That was possibly the hardest memory of all, waking up from regenerating, blissfully unaware of what had happened and then remembering what he'd done.

"Couldn't others have survived?"

"No, I'd know. Like you knew I was standing outside the building. I used to able to feel all the Time Lords, all our family, I could hear them in my mind, now it's just quiet."

"When was it?"

"In my time, three years ago. I should have come to tell you sooner, but... I couldn't, didn't know how to."

Susan nodded her understanding, although really she didn't. "It wasn't your fault," she tried to comfort him.

"Yes it was."

The force of his reply shocked her. "How?"

He let go of her hand and walked across the room, stood staring blindly out of the window, for a moment lost in the memories he'd fought to hide for the last two years. He was pulled back to the present when he felt her standing behind him.

"How?" she asked again, more gently this time.

"We were loosing, were about to be invaded. I couldn't let Daleks have the power of the Time Lords, they'd have destroyed everyone and everything." He turned to face her and she saw tears in his eyes. "So I pushed the button and wiped an entire civilisation from the timeline."

"Did you know that would happen?"

"I knew it was a strong possibility."

"Did you think that you'd die too?"

"Yes."

Susan shivered at the hopelessness in his voice when he spoke that single word. "It must have been your only choice."

The Doctor's expression was sad, more than sad. "Such faith," he whispered.

"You're my grandfather. I wouldn't be alive now if you hadn't taken me from Gallifrey. They would have destroyed us both."

'And instead I destroyed them.' The words were left unsaid, but they both understood. Him taking her from Gallifrey, stealing the TARDIS, had been the beginning of a chain of events that had led to the destruction of their home planet.

"You saved me," she repeated. "You did what they drove you to." Even as he nodded, she could see he didn't believe her. "Stay and have something to eat. Tell me where you've been for the last 13 years. In fact tell how long it's been really."

As they'd cooked and eaten dinner, he'd shared some of his adventures, the fun ones, with her. He even told her about some of his companions, but he didn't mention Rose, nor did he mention the Time War again. After they'd washed the dishes and drank their coffee, he collected his coat and went to leave.

"Are you happy?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied truthfully. "It was the right decision to stay here. What about you?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you happy?"

"I have the whole of time and space at my fingertips, who wouldn't be happy with that?"

"A Time Lord who didn't want to be a Time Lord," she suggested.

He grinned at her insight and then looked serious. "I'm happy. I have a beautiful granddaughter and the finest ship in the universe."

"Will you come back?"

"Yes. I promise."

"You've promised before."

"But this time I mean it. No more false promises, it seems people take them seriously."

"Then I'll see you again soon, grandfather." She reached up and hugged him.

The Doctor let himself into the TARDIS, threw his coat over the rail and went to check the console. _'Yes_,' he nodded to himself, '_this time he'd definitely be back_.'

"How'd it go?" a voice asked from under the console.

"What are you doing down there?"

"Fiddling," Jack replied. "How'd it go?" he asked again.

"Fine."

Jack climbed out of the hatch and gave the Doctor a quizzical look. "So, was I right?"

"This is going to kill me," The Doctor muttered. "Yes, you were right. It was a good idea. She had the right to know."

"See, I have my uses."

"Not really," The Doctor only half joked.

Jack ignored him. "What I don't understand is why you chose now. Why not a year or two after you left her? Surely that would have better, for her at least."

"She might have wanted to come with me and she's safer here. Now she's happily married and doesn't want to go anywhere."

That made sense to Jack. He knew better than to ask how she's taken the news about Gallifrey and her people though. He'd been worried the whole time the Doctor was gone that this would turn out to be a really bad idea.

"Have you finished your fiddling?" The Doctor asked.

"Yep and I know where we need to go."

The Doctor took the co-ordinates from him. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, I have to know what happened to me."

"And you know you can't do anything."

"I was a Time Agent, I know the rules."

"And you broke them," the Doctor reminded him. "These are my rules. Under no circumstances, _no circumstances_, do you mess with your own timeline."

"I know," Jack agreed. "I promise. I just need to see, I don't want to change anything. I need to know."

The Doctor wasn't entirely happy taking Jack to find his missing years, but he had abandoned him on the Game Station and owed him for that, so he entered the co-ordinates and activated the time rotor.

Susan watched the TARDIS fade away before she turned and walked slowly home. He had promised to return, and she didn't doubt he meant it, it was just that he had a lousy sense of time. He may intend returning in a few months, but she was well aware it could be another 13 years.

When she got home, her husband was already there. She told him she'd been to get some milk, offered to make him some dinner, but he'd already eaten.

"Then let's go to the pub," she suggested.

"On a Wednesday?" he asked in mock surprise. "Are we celebrating something?"

"Being here together on this wet Wednesday in June."

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah. I just heard that someone I thought was missing has turned up safe and well."

"Well in that case I'll get my coat. But soft drinks for you," he reminded her.

"Yes, yes, I know." She patted her stomach and wondered why she hadn't told her grandfather the news. Though she suspected he already knew, maybe that would give him a reason to come back.

End Of Part Two

Part Three, Beginnings


	3. Chapter 3

Remembering (Part 3) - Beginnings

**Synopsis**: The Doctor and Jack start the search for those missing years  
**Characters**: The Doctor (ten) and Jack  
**Episode/Spoilers**: Anything up to Doomsday. Some vague spoilers for series 3 and Torchwood  
**Rating**: PG (a little slashy UST)

* * *

"Morning," the Doctor said as he entered the TARDIS console room. 

_Morning_, the ship replied.

"Anything I should know?"

_Everything's as you left it_, she told him.

He smiled, "Still a few things broken then."

_Nothing vital_.

"Sorry, I will get round to completing at least some repairs."

_Of course you will_.

"Who am I trying to fool, after nine hundred years you're used to me." He scanned quickly through some pages on the console monitor. "I'm going to get some breakfast. Any problems... oh, you know what to do."

Jack stood in the doorway, with an amused look on his face. "Who are you talking to?"

"The TARDIS," the Doctor replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Does she reply?" Jack tried to keep the humour out of his voice.

"Of course she does. You want some breakfast?"

"I made us toast and cereal. I didn't hear her reply?"

The Doctor followed Jack out of the console room, "Do you think I'm loosing my mind?"

"Well you were just having a one sided conversation with your ship."

"She's telepathic."

"Okay, that makes sense," Jack replied doubtfully. "But why talk out loud to her?"

"Always have."

"And in English?"

The Doctor shrugged. "How'd you do cereal, we ran out of milk last night?"

"Something called Ready Brek, you add water and microwave it."

"Sounds appetising."

"Was in your cupboard."

"Must have been Rose's. Listen, I was thinking. Chances are the wipe would have covered a few months before the actual time they were trying to blank out. I don't think there's any point in going to your last assignment."

"So what do you suggest. There aren't any records after the last one I remember."

"How do you know?"

"You don't think I didn't check before I quit? The records after the wipe had been altered, I tried to recover any old data but there was nothing there."

"Nothing at all?" the Doctor asked doubtfully. He tried the Ready Brek. "This is quite good. We should get some more of this."

"It's a bit bland."

The Doctor handed Jack a jar, "Put some syrup on it. We'll get a copy of the files, the altered ones. Let the TARDIS analyse them."

Three hours later, the TARDIS materialised half a mile away from the Time Agency's headquarters, any closer and there was a chance she'd show up on their systems. It was the early hours of the morning and the streets of the city were quiet and dark. The Doctor was talking about the last time he'd been there, but Jack was lost in thought.

"And then the man in moon came down and stole all the jelly and custard."

Jack frowned, "What?"

"Just checking you're still listening to me."

"What if we don't find anything? What if the files are so well wiped that the TARDIS can't recover them? We are talking 51st century technology after all."

The Doctor looked mildly offended. "I think, actually I know, the TARDIS technology is far advanced on 51st century Earth, something that you already know. So what's really bothering you?" when Jack shrugged, the Doctor guessed, "You're worried what you might find."

"I've waited so long to know what happened to me. It's all that's driven me for years and now, I don't know."

"We can leave and forget about it," the Doctor offered.

"I have to know."

"You sure?"

"Yes"

"Good," the Doctor grinned, "'cos we're here."

With the help of the sonic screwdriver, they broke into the Agency building and made their way through the security doors to the central computer room. The Doctor unlocked the door with his screwdriver and then used it as a torch to guide them to the computer files.

Jack smiled, "That really is a multi-functional device." He turned a computer on and the logon screen requested a DNA scan. "Don't suppose it can get round 51st century computer security?"

The Doctor changed the frequency of the screwdriver and ran it over the computer.

"I've got to get one of those," Jack commented. "Okay, here we go." He scanned through the files until he found the ones he wanted. He quickly downloaded them, while the Doctor stood by the door. "Thought you were keeping watch?"

"I'm listening, if you'd shut up that is."

"Ahh, so your new regeneration got enhanced hearing and slightly duff eyesight," Jack teased.

"Nothing wrong with my eyes," the Doctor argued.

"Glasses just a fashion statement then?"

"I'm trying to listen. Someone's coming."

"Almost done," Jack replied as they heard someone trying open the door.

The Doctor joined Jack at the computer. "Is there another exit?"

"No."

"Then get ready to bluff your way out."

"Let me do the talking," Jack cautioned, as the download finished and he placed the data stick in his pocket.

The door opened to reveal two security guards and a docile looking dog. "Are you supposed to be in here?" one of the guards asked.

"Working late," Jack sighed. "You know what they're like. You get back from assignment and it's straight into the paperwork. Captain Jack Harkness," he introduced himself and took a Time Agency security pass out of his jacket pocket.

"And your friend?" the guard asked.

"John Smith," the Doctor replied.

"He's been helping me," Jack said, "It's the only way I'm going to get out of here before morning. My mom gets married tomorrow, and do you have any idea what she'll do to me if I'm late?" Jack and the Doctor started to leave the room, with Jack still chatting to the guard. "She already gives me the 'they don't pay you enough for the hours you work' lecture every time I see her."

"Tell me about it," the guard agreed. "My wife give me that little speech every payday."

"I tell my mom I do it for love of the job. She tells me I'm insane," Jack laughed. "Well that's us done. Got three days off now and then it's back to the grind."

"Hope the wedding goes well," the guard said as he and his partner went in the other direction to Jack and the Doctor.

"Thanks," Jack called. He turned to the Doctor. "John Smith? That's the best name you could come up with?"

"Where'd you get the pass from?"

"Made a copy before I left. Won't get past security locks, but it looks pretty authentic. So, how long do you think it'll take the TARDIS to analyse the data?"

"Shouldn't take too long. We need to move first though. If we stay here too long someone might find us."

As Jack and the Doctor walked back to the TARDIS, a red warning was flashing on a computer screen at the Time Agency... 'Time Lord, Grid 14#delta7sigma'

"Jill, this can't right can it?" an operator asked his colleague.

"Time Lord? I didn't think they existed?"

"Well the system seems to think they do."

"Better check it out." Jill dispatched two agents to grid 14#delta7sigma to see what was there.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked when the Doctor stopped walking.

"There's someone at the TARDIS, trying to get in."

"How'd you... telepathy?" Jack guessed. "Could be from the Agency. It's not like they'll get in though. Will they?"

"No one ever has before. Well, I say no one, I mean almost no one."

"Almost? That's reassuring. How many are there?"

"Two," the Doctor replied.

"We can get past two agents. They're not that well trained and we have cunning and guile on our sides."

The Doctor grinned, "What do you have in mind?"

"A little diversion."

Even before they reached the TARDIS though, the Doctor knew the plan wasn't going to work. "They've bought in reinforcements."

"Great. You know the Agency denies the Time Lords existence don't you?"

"They're almost right," the Doctor replied.

"What I mean is, if they get hold of you or the TARDIS... it won't be good."

"They're almost as bad as Torchwood. You can really pick employers can't you?"

"We need a new plan."

"Over here." The Doctor led Jack across the road and into an alley. "It's been a while since I did this, hope it works."

"What are you doing?"

"Calling the TARDIS."

"Calling? As in...?"

"Shush!"

Jack stood in silence and watched as the Doctor closed his eyes and concentrated. His expression turned to amazement, as slowly the TARDIS materialised before them. "Wow," he whispered.

The Doctor took the key out of his pocket and let them inside. He went over to the console, entered the simplest coordinates he could, a reverse route taking them back to 21st century Earth, and then sat down in one of the seats.

"That was great," Jack laughed. "I would have loved to have seen their faces when she vanished before their eyes. You should do that more often. Would save walking for a start."

"It uses a lot of energy and it's a bit hit and miss. She could have ended up on in the Baldring System in the year 4375." The Doctor closed his eyes and lent forwards in the seat, resting his arms on his legs.

"Then we won't do that too often." Jack studied the Doctor, he looked paler than normal and Jack was worried. "You okay? You don't look too hot."

"Like I said, uses a lot of energy," the Doctor replied with his eyes still closed. He had a sick headache and felt completely drained.

"Your energy, right. Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'll be alright." The Doctor opened his eyes, which was a bad idea as the console room was apparently swaying, he closed them again. "Just give me a minute." He could sense Jack hovering though. "Wouldn't mind a drink if you need something to do."

By the time Jack returned to the console room, the Doctor was standing by the time rotor, checking the settings and fine tuning the controls. He walked round the console to the monitor and held out his hand. "Data stick?" He took the stick from Jack and connected it to the console.

"How long?"

The Doctor pulled a face and studied the monitor. "An hour or so."

"Okay," Jack was starting to feel nervous.

An hour later, the Doctor was sitting on one of the chairs, with his feet on the railings, fiddling with a part of the ship he'd been promising to repair for around 200 years. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but he thought it was time he at least made the effort.

Jack had returned from his room and was now pacing around, stopping at the monitor every time he passed it.

The Doctor was trying to ignore him but, after twenty minutes, Jack was starting to get on his nerves. "Sit down," he instructed.

"How long?" Jack asked as he did as he was told.

"Ten minutes."

"You said that ten minutes ago."

"It's like having traveling with a six year old," the Doctor complained. When Jack went to stand up again, the Doctor pulled him back down. "No more pacing. It'll be done when it's done."

"Yeah," Jack slumped down in his seat. "So what you doing?"

"This has been broken for at least 200 years. I have no idea what's wrong with it," he admitted with a smile. "Tell the truth, I'm not entirely sure what it does when it's working."

Just then the TARDIS signaled that she'd finished her analysis of the files. The Doctor went over to the screen and read quickly through what she'd found, by the end he was frowning.

Jack was looking over the Doctor's shoulder, but the writing was in Gallifreyan and the Doctor was flicking through too quickly for him to read it. "So, what does it say?"

"She isn't sure, the files were badly fragmented."

"But?"

"She thinks she knows where you were sent to. But it's not safe, it's too close."

"I guessed it wasn't going to be safe. Too close to what?"

"The end," the Doctor replied cryptically

"The end of what?"

"I knew this was a bad idea," the Doctor said more to himself than Jack. "I don't think we can do this, we should try something else."

"There is nothing else. Come on, you can't back out on me now."

The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. "You don't know what you're asking."

"Then tell me."

"You were sent to Arcadia, does that mean anything, ring any bells?"

"Arcadia? I've heard myths. It was rumoured to be a pleasure planet, like a vacation spot."

The Doctor nodded. "But you don't remember ever going there?"

"I didn't know it actually existed. Why can't we go there?"

_Oh no reason_, the Doctor thought, _except it's been haunting my nightmares for the last 3 years_. "It was destroyed in the time war."

"But we need to go there before that, we need to be there when I was there."

"Yes. Four days before the planet fell."

"That is close," Jack conceded. "But if we're careful?" He studied the Doctor, the look in his eyes reminded him of the old Doctor, the one who'd tried desperately to shut the world out. "Why don't you want to go? And don't say it's dangerous, that's never stopped you before."

"I was there at the end, when the planet fell. I watched as it was consumed by the Daleks. The last time I saw Arcadia... it wasn't a pleasure planet anymore."

"I know it'll be hard to be there again..." Jack began.

"Being there again wouldn't make any difference to the way I feel. The war wiped planets and people from the timeline. It might not even be possible... " the Doctor sighed. "We can try, but it's going to be a bumpy ride, because the TARDIS isn't going to be too happy to be returning there."

End Of Part 3

Part 4, Confessions


	4. Chapter 4

Remembering (Part 4) - Confessions

**Synopsis**: There something Jack needs to tell the Doctor about their search.  
**Characters**: Jack, the Doctor (ten)  
**Episode/Spoilers**: Anything up to Doomsday, vague spoilers for series 3 and Torchwood.  
**Rating**: PG (a bit of language and a little slashy UST, nothing big though)

* * *

The TARDIS shuddered and shook as she entered the vortex. "Push the blue button and then hold the green one down," the Doctor told Jack, as he ran round the console, trying to keep the TARDIS on course. 

Jack did as he was told. "Stupid design if you don't mind me saying. Wouldn't it make more sense to have all the controls together in a line?"

"Probably," the Doctor agreed as he used what to Jack looked like a bicycle tyre pump. "She's supposed to have more than one pilot. Okay, should be fine for a while," he said as the ride leveled out and became smooth.

"How long 'til we get there?" Jack asked.

"Four hours, maybe, possibly a little longer." The Doctor stroked the console. "I don't think she's feeling well."

"I chose the most unreliable ship in the universe didn't I?" Jack joked. "Tell me something, if no one else can fly her, what happens to me if something happens to you?"

"You'll be stuck, so you'd better look after me."

"I can do that," Jack told him. "Four hours you say, plenty time for me to look after you right now," he grinned cheeky.

"One track mind," the Doctor replied.

"Can't blame a guy for trying. I guess if you're turning me down then I may as well go and get some food."

As Jack closed the fridge door, the TARDIS jolted violently and sent him flying across the kitchen. He was stunned for a moment, but then he scrambled to his feet and ran through the corridors to the console room. Every few seconds the ship lurched again and he was thrown against a wall.

When he reached the console room, he found it full of smoke with the time rotor making a sound he hadn't heard it make before. "Doctor," he called, but got no reply. As the smoke cleared he found the Doctor lying on one of the platforms. "Doctor, you okay? Doctor!"

The Doctor could hear someone calling him, a long way off but getting closer. He felt like he was falling, falling through time, dying. No, not dying. Slowly the fog in his head started to clear and he sensed what was happening to his ship. His eyes shot open and he sat up. "We're loosing the vortex." When he went to stand the world started spinning and he closed his eyes again.

"You hit your head and you have a pretty bad burn to your hand. Let me see," Jack said.

"No time." The Doctor tried to stand again, this time successfully, and made his way down the scaffolding to the time rotor. "This isn't good." He turned some dials and pressed a button. "Definitely not good. This is going to be bumpy."

"_Going_ to be bumpy?"

"Bumpier," the Doctor amended as he flicked a switched and ran around the console. He made some adjustments, turned another dial and pressed a button. "Hold on!" he told Jack.

With that the TARDIS started to fall. The sensation reminded Jack of a fairground ride he'd once been on with Rose, appropriately named Oblivion. Suddenly they stopped and both the Doctor and Jack were thrown against the walls with sickening thuds.

"Christ!" Jack complained. "Why don't we have seat belts?"

"Seat belts are for wimps," the Doctor told him as he stood up and went over to the console. He examined the systems, checked the monitor and, to Jack's amusement, placed a hand affectionately on the time rotor. "Well we're back on Earth."

"What is it with your ship and Earth?" Jack asked. "When, where?"

"Cumbria... 1988. You hurt?"

"No, but you are." Jack joined the Doctor at the console and took hold of his hand.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow and smirked, "Is this really the time?"

"You burnt it, it looks painful."

"It is. Little tip, Jack. Never, under any circumstances, touch the end of a bare wire with a screwdriver, not even a sonic one."

"I'll bear that in mind. Come on, medical bay."

"I need to start repairs and to find out what happened."

"You touched a bare wire..."

"To the ship and the vortex."

"Your hand and head first, then we'll get some food, then we'll start repairs."

The Doctor let Jack lead him to the medical bay. He sat on a bed while Jack routed around looking for some ointment.

"Third drawer down," the Doctor said.

Jack opened the drawer. "What am I looking for?"

The Doctor jumped off the bed and went over to the cabinet. He took a sonic scanner out of the drawer and ran it over the burn on his hand, flinching a little as the wound was sterilised. He changed the setting and repeated the procedure, this time the scanner soothed the burn and eased the pain.

"That's neat. More Time Lord tech?"

"Human medicine doesn't agree with me. In fact I'm allergic to most of it."

"Do you have a spare one?"

"Doesn't work on Humans. I'm going to check the TARDIS is alright."

After finding that nothing in the kitchen was working, Jack gave up the idea of food and went to the console room. "How is she?" he asked. "I'm guessing not well, since none of the electrics are working in the kitchen."

"She's healing herself. She'll be alright in a few hours."

"Do you know what happened?"

"The vortex spat us out." The Doctor studied the console monitor. "The time's too close to when I was last there. Wouldn't normally matter, but with what was happening then... I don't think we're going to be able to do this."

"You're not just saying that?" Jack asked suspiciously.

"Yes." the Doctor snapped. "I deliberately crashed my ship because I didn't like to say no to you. Here," he turned the monitor to Jack, "you seem to have developed a skill for reading Gallifreyan."

Jack tried to read the information on the screen, actually understood enough of it to get the idea. They couldn't get to Arcadia, not when they needed to. "Okay. So what now?" he suddenly felt dejected.

"We need a new plan," the Doctor told him. "We might as well go and find somewhere to eat while she starts repairs."

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting at a corner table in a small café, plates of egg, chips and beans in front of them, neither speaking. Jack was stirring cream into a cup of coffee, the Doctor was eating chips with his fingers and staring out of the window at the wet countryside.

Jack had something he'd been meaning to tell the Doctor since they began this quest, something that he wasn't sure the Doctor would want to hear. Especially given the events of the last couple of hours.

The Doctor was trying to formulate a new plan. He was also trying to work out why the Time Agency, who officially denied the existence of the Time Lords, would send one of their agents to Gallifrey's system. Did the Agency send Jack, or had he chosen to go on his own?

Jack broke the silence. "I was thinking, why was I there?"

"I was wondering that."

"Did the records not show it?"

"Not the recoverable parts, no. You have no idea?"

"I've been trying to work it out, all I can come up with is that I was chasing someone, which is pretty obvious I guess. Either that, or something went wrong with my ship and I was there by mistake. Don't suppose you have new plan?"

"Not yet."

"Couldn't we try again?" Jack asked, even though he knew the answer.

"No."

"What about if we aimed for a few days earlier and waited?"

"No," the Doctor repeated. "I won't put the TARDIS through that again."

"No," Jack agreed. He ate some of his food and stirred his coffee again. "There is something I've been meaning to mention. It might be nothing, but it's probably something."

The Doctor ate a chip he'd just dunked into his fried egg and watched Jack expectantly.

"Back on the Game Station, when we saw the Dalek fleet, I recognised them immediately," Jack said. "But... I'd never actually come face to face with a Dalek before, let alone seen any of their ships. Yet I recognised them. At the time, well we were so busy I didn't really think about it, but now... How did I know what they were?"

The Doctor didn't speak. He had been watching Jack, but now he looked away, stared back out of the window.

"How did I know?" Jack asked again.

"You know the answer to that," the Doctor replied and turned back to face Jack. "Why didn't you say anything when we started this?"

"Because I didn't want you to look at me like that."

"You didn't want me to refuse to help."

Jack nodded. "I saw the effect the Daleks had on you back on the station." If Jack had had any lingering doubts that the man before him was the same Doctor he'd met during the blitz, the look in his eyes now would have removed them. It was the same look he'd had on the Game Station, defiant, angry and hurt.

"I'm sorry," Jack said. "I shouldn't have involved you and if I'd had any other choice... I've been trying to solve this on my own for years. I can't do it, not without you."

"No pressure then," the Doctor said. This time though, Jack thought he could hear a hint of resigned irony in his voice. The Doctor sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "I suppose we need a new plan."

"You'll still help?"

"I'm going back to the TARDIS, see how she is. Oh, I don't have any money, so this would be yours." He handed Jack the bill, stood up and left the café.

While Jack paid the bill, the Doctor walked back through the rain to the village green where he'd left the TARDIS. He knew she wasn't ready yet, she'd need another few hours, but he had a sudden need to be with her. His ship, his constant companion through everything for over 900 years, the only place he'd ever felt truly safe. And at the moment he needed to feel safe, because he only had one plan left to help Jack and it wasn't something he relished the thought of. The trouble was, now he needed to know why Jack had been on Arcadia almost as much as Jack did.

End Of Part 4

Part 5, Scattered Pictures...


	5. Chapter 5

Remembering (Part 5) - Scattered Pictures

**Synopsis**: With the Doctor's help, Jack finds part of his missing life, and the Doctor solves a mystery of his own.  
**Characters**: Jack, the Doctor (ten)   
**Episode/Spoilers**: Anything up to Doomsday, vague spoilers for series 3 and Torchwood.  
**Rating**: PG

* * *

Jack arrived back at the village green and was relieved to find the TARDIS was still there. After the way the Doctor had left the cafe and the look he'd had in his eyes, Jack had been worried he might end up stuck in 1980's Cumbria. When he entered the TARDIS, the Doctor was under the console, tinkering with some circuit. 

"How is she?" Jack asked.

The Doctor had been so caught up in his own thoughts that when Jack spoke, he jumped and banged his head. He emerged from under the console, rubbing his head and muttering to himself in what Jack assumed was his native language.

"Did I scare you?" Jack smiled.

"I'm going to get you a bell," the Doctor said as he stood up. "She'll be a few more hours yet." He looked at Jack and smiled. "Did you think I'd leave you behind?"

"Thought never occurred to me." Jack sat down, put his feet up on the railings and watched the Doctor climb onto the scaffolding, to finish repairing the circuit he'd been fiddling with when the ship had crashed. "I haven't come up with another plan yet."

"Keep thinking then."

"How about going to the first time I remember after the wipe?"

"How would that help?" the Doctor asked without looking away from the wiring he was fixing.

"We could work backwards," Jack knew he was clutching as straws though.

"Wouldn't change anything. We still couldn't get to Arcadia."

"You think that's where it happened? The main thing?"

"Don't you?"

"Why wipe two years?"

"I don't know." The Doctor jumped down from the gantry and walked back over to the console. "Your trip to Arcadia was eighteen months before the end of the wipe. There's obviously more, but I'd bet that was the start of it, whatever _it_ was."

"So Arcadia's the key, how do we find out why?"

The Doctor didn't reply immediately. He stood leaning on the console, supposedly reading the monitor, but really staring inwards. After a while he stood up and turned to face Jack, his mind made up. "How thorough are the wipes?"

"Pretty thorough I'd imagine."

"Still, you have remembered parts. The Dalek ships for example."

"Yeah, but..."

"So it's not a wipe so much as a covering up. The original memories are still in there, they're just hidden."

"Yeah I guess they must be," Jack agreed, "How does that help?"

"I'm telepathic."

"You can read my mind?"

"Yes."

"Do you?" Jack asked with a smile.

"You're not that interesting," the Doctor told him.

"You can read my mind," Jack repeated. "So you could find the hidden memories."

"Possibly."

Jack jumped to his feet. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's try."

"Could be painful, physically and emotionally," the Doctor cautioned.

"Then it'll be painful. I need to know."

"Alright. Sit back down."

Jack did as he was told and the Doctor placed his fingers on Jack's face - two on either temple, two behind his ears and a thumb on each cheek.

"Normally I'd tell you to imagine a door and close it on any memories you don't want me to see, but that might not be a good idea this time, so I hope you don't have any embarrassing secrets," the Doctor smiled.

"Plenty," Jack replied. "Let's get this done."

The Doctor closed his eyes and concentrated. He entered Jack's memories on the Game Station, shortly after he'd left him there. He saw as Jack walked the corridors of the station, saw the dead bodies, the destruction. He moved out of that memory and deeper into Jack's mind.

Jack felt the Doctor traveling through his memories, it was the strangest sensation he'd ever experienced, intrusive and yet at the same time sensual. He'd had training in fighting off telepathic scans and turning the scan back on your captor, when he was at the academy. Now it was difficult to push those instincts aside and let the Doctor roam freely.

The Doctor felt Jack tense as he moved deeper into his mind. "Sorry, this may get uncomfortable. If you want to stop just tell me."

"No, keep going."

It took another five minutes, but the Doctor found some hidden memories. "You've been in the TARDIS before," he said.

"Yeah, when we first met."

"No, before that." The Doctor carried on with the scan, moving deeper into the memories. It wasn't long before he found what he was looking for.

_Jack's ship was in trouble, the temporal drive had failed, his normal engines had given up, he was drifting in space and there were thousands of disc shaped ships bearing down on him. Suddenly his ship was inside a room. He had no idea how or where._ The Doctor paused the scan, he knew where this was heading, he'd known since the café, and yet he had to see more.  
_Jack was watching a monitor in one of the TARDIS rooms. The orange planet on the screen was starting to burn. Ships - the disc shaped ones and others, hundreds, maybe thousands of ships - were burning with it, falling, dying. Jack turned from the monitor and ran back to his ship. He tried frantically to get it working, after what seemed like an hour but was really only a few minutes he managed to activate the temporal drive._

Back in the present, Jack sensed a change in the Doctor, something was wrong. He asked, but the Doctor didn't respond. Jack was becoming increasingly worried. Feelings were seeping from the Doctor and Jack could feel the Doctor's pain and anguish. Suddenly the Doctor pulled his hands from Jack's face. He opened his eyes and stared at Jack. "It was you," he said, his voice accusing, before he turned away and left the room.

The Doctor walked through the maze of corridors, with no real idea where he was heading. He found himself in a section he hadn't visited for years, deep in the heart of the ship. When he'd walked as far as he could, he stopped and leaned back against a wall, then let himself slide to the floor. He stared into the distance for a few seconds, before dropping his head and allowing his emotions to wash over him.

After a few minutes he looked up and took a few deep breaths. He tried to work through what he'd seen in Jack's memories. The images of the war weren't the problem, they were upsetting, but that wasn't what had sent him from the console room into the depths of the TARDIS. What really bothered him was the revelation, the discovery he'd made.

After three years, he finally knew why he'd survived when no one else had. It hadn't been because he'd been the one to push the button, actually there hadn't been a button, but that was neither here nor there. It hadn't just been some cruel twist of fate, or maybe it had.

The reason he was the last of the Time Lords, was because a time agent had chosen to activate a temporal drive at the exact same moment that he'd destroyed the planet. The Doctor wasn't sure how he felt about that. He knew his old self, his ninth self, would have hated Jack. Would have been sorely tempted to beat Jack to within an inch of his life. He wouldn't have done it of course, but he would have been tempted. Now though, he was surprised to find that he felt some gratitude towards Jack for saving him, even if it had been by accident.

Jack had stayed in the console room after the Doctor had left. The images the Doctor had reawakened were running through his mind. The time war, the fall of Gallifrey, the destruction of the Daleks and the Time Lords. He'd been there, he'd witnessed it. Not only that, he'd witnessed it from inside a TARDIS, the Doctor's TARDIS.

He understood now the Doctor's reluctance to carry out the memory scan. What he didn't understand was the Doctor's reaction to what he'd found. He knew the images of the war would be upsetting, but the Doctor's reaction confused him.

He'd seen the Doctor upset before. After their confrontation with the Daleks when they'd rescued Rose, the Doctor had stood at the TARDIS door, not moving or speaking, for a couple of minutes, but then he'd made a lame joke and got straight to work.

This was something different. There was something more, something that seemed to both anger and upset the Doctor. _'It was you' what did he mean by that?_ Jack wondered. _What was me?_ He ran through the things he'd seen again, but it didn't make sense. He'd watched the battle, he'd repaired his ship and he'd left. _What was me? What did I do?_

He needed food and alcohol, he decided. He stood up and headed for the kitchen.

Jack hesitated when he reached the kitchen door and found the Doctor standing with his back to him, buttering some toast.

"You want some?" the Doctor asked. "It's peanut butter and jam. And there's beer in the fridge."

"Still readying my mind?" Jack asked as he placed two beers on the kitchen table and took a slice of toast from the Doctor.

"Just a lucky guess. Are you alright?"

"A little stunned to be honest."

The Doctor smiled slightly. "Me too."

They ate and drank in silence until Jack asked, "How did my ship end up inside the TARDIS?"

The Doctor sat across from Jack and filled in the blanks for Jack. "I'd been on the planet, setting up... well, things." _Things_, he thought, _things_? _Setting up the destruction of the Eye, of the Matrix, of my people_.

"My TARDIS was rejoining the fleet," the Doctor continued. "It was our last stand, we knew that. Arcadia had fallen, many planets had fallen before that, there was nothing left to defend." He paused for a second. "She must have materialised around your ship. She didn't tell me you were there, she may not have known, she was badly damaged. I'd been hurt in the fighting on the planet, I knew I was dying.

"The war was lost. The planet had fallen to the Daleks. They couldn't be allowed to get hold of Time Lord technology. I could only think of one way to stop them, to stop the war, finally but an end to all of it."

The Doctor paused and remembered the decision he'd had to make. Destroy his home planet and half his solar system. Unleash the power of the black hole. Send them all - Daleks, Time Lords and the ordinary innocent inhabitants of the planets - to their deaths. In doing so, he was aware that he'd wipe the Time Lords from the timeline, everyone of them, no matter where or when they were. He was also aware that there was no other way to stop the Daleks. And they had to be stopped if the universe's younger species, including Humans, were to have a chance to live and evolve.

"The others knew what I was planning," the Doctor continued. "Some told me to end it, more wanted to carry on fighting. But there was nothing left to fight for."

The Doctor's mind wandered back to the last seconds of the war. _He had the means to end it all, but he could feel his regeneration starting. He didn't have time to argue with the others. So he activated the device and set a chain of events in motion that destroyed them all. _

_He'd heard them screaming then, the other Time Lords and the TARDISes. He'd heard them dying. He'd felt the pain of their deaths along with his own. He'd known he wouldn't regenerate now and he'd been glad. But then he'd woken up as his ninth self, the last of the Time Lords. The TARDIS had crashed in 20th century London, she always was drawn to Earth when she was in trouble._

He looked back at Jack. "I thought I'd die, but I didn't and now I know why. At the same moment I unleashed the power of the black hole, you activated your temporal drive. You went back to 51st century Earth and I was sent to the 20th century."

Jack was stunned. He was responsible for the Doctor surviving, something he knew the Doctor hadn't wanted. How did the Doctor feel about him now? There was only one way to find out, but did he really want to know?

"So, it's my fault that you survived?"

"It would seem so."

"I'm sorry, I mean I know you didn't want that."

"No," the Doctor agreed. "And three years ago, I would have hated you. Actually, two years ago I would have. Now though I'm glad I survived, most of the time. Anyway, knowing why I survived somehow makes it easier. And I wouldn't have missed the last three years for anything. Well, parts of it, some of it."

"So, I did you a favour."

"Don't push it," the Doctor told him. He knew he'd never get over the events of the war and he'd never forgive himself for surviving. Three years on, he was still haunted and still scarred. But in that time, he'd found that he could enjoy life again.

End


End file.
